— As a dating coach for single women over 40, one of the first questions I ask a client is, “What’s your biggest problem in dating? I recently asked a group of about 300 single, divorced, and widowed women over 40 what their biggest problems were in dating. But when a man rushes sex, women often feel objectified.
” I want to know what they’ve tried and what their struggles are. I wanted to see how many struggled with the same issues. They want to be appreciated for more than their bodies.
Their answers help me tailor a program that helps them attract their ideal match.
Are they unknowingly putting up guards that turn men off?
Here’s what they said, followed by my thoughts on how they might overcome these dating problems and attract their best relationship.◊♦◊This is a common complaint from women. So guys, please pay attention to more than the boobs and the butt.
The other B, the brain, is just as important, especially as you’re getting to know a woman. Anyone who’s looking for a true connection is more likely to find it with someone closer to their age.
In terms of attraction, when you connect deeply at this level, attraction can grow. Ladies, you can’t do anything about the men who want a midlife-crisis-Barbie-Doll.
So stop looking for super hot chemistry and butterflies when you first meet. Ignore those men, and seek out the guys who want a relationship with someone they can relate to. Truly.◊♦◊Guys, if you’re comparing all the women you date to your ex, or you’re still blaming her for your problems, please get therapy and work this stuff out.
Would you rather crash and burn or have a slow sizzle that bursts into hot flames over time? She’s going to walk away and find a grownup guy.◊♦◊Guys, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe there’s a ‘lid for every pot’, a body type for every guy. Those things are far more important than a Harvard or Yale degree, or whether or not he speaks Mandarin.◊♦◊People in big cities say it’s hard to meet anyone.Some men like thin women, some like curvier figures. People in remote cities say they have no one to date.The men I’ve spoken to care less about how much a woman weighs and more about how much a woman loves her body. So, if you’re a larger woman, take good care of your body and flaunt it, sista! Look beyond degrees and discover whether the person you’re dating has character and integrity. Wherever you live, I promise you are not geographically undesirable (hello online dating, Face Time, and airplanes). Dating problems begin to disappear when you overcome your insecurities and limiting beliefs about the opposite sex.Someone will love you for who you are.◊♦◊Ladies, ditch your unrealistic lists. There are fewer dating issues when you can communicate your wants and needs clearly and have confidence and self-respect.A man who never graduated college might be brilliant (Steve Jobs). I know many really smart people, including my son, who don’t have high degrees, and many people with a Ph.